The Journal of Impossible Things

annicaspoon:

‘STACEY’S MOM HAS GOT IT GOIN’ ON

SHE’S ALL I WANT AND I’VE WAITED FOR SO LONG

STACY CAN’T YOU SEE YOU’RE JUST NOT THE GIRL FOR ME

I KNOW IT MIGHT BE WRONG BUT I’M IN LOVE WITH STACE-‘

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….Hello…sir…

Why would Stacy’s dad care?  He walked out on them.

scott-pilgrimage:

whosromeo:

i think it’s cute when someone admits they have a crush on you

i think it’s a fucking miracle 

iraffiruse:

Satisfying things

thetasrose:

cybercitrus:

pixelavender:

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

thIS WHOLE FUCKING ARTICLE





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convert your office into a horrible disaster

Aw, bless. He’s trying to find alternative uses for a hair dryer since he doesn’t need it for its intended purpose anymore.

He looks like Ted from Scrubs.

thetasrose:

cybercitrus:

pixelavender:

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

thIS WHOLE FUCKING ARTICLE

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????????????????????????????

convert your office into a horrible disaster

Aw, bless. He’s trying to find alternative uses for a hair dryer since he doesn’t need it for its intended purpose anymore.

He looks like Ted from Scrubs.

I’m going to start callin E-Z Pass the “Eee-Zed Pass.”

It’s like they’re playing Goldeneye in DK Mode.

Geordi La Forge, you are a creepy motherfucker some times.

moderatelyfoxy:

yo pro tip:

sex shouldn’t be painful

losing your virginity should not be painful

vaginal sex should not be painful

anal sex should not be painful

if penetration hurts there’s something wrong. use more lube, do more foreplay, take the time to prepare things, and take it slow.

sex. should. not. hurt.

ever.

except in a consensual situation (BDSM)

sex should be fun, safe, consensual, and pleasurable for all parties involved.

snarg:

truth or dare more like perform a strange sexual act or tell me who you like